I recently discovered the term misophonia and have been doing research, but I’m not sure.
I can’t stand repetitive actions, such as bouncing or tapping, or sounds, such as saying words over again. Singing and instrument playing often annoy me. Especially if the time is repetitive. I become really angry, so much so that I lash out at people and yell. I get urges to become physically violent but I don’t act on them.
Yesterday, my sister and I were on the bus and every time we passed a car she said “tiny car”. I got infuriated, it ruined my whole day. I snapped at her.
Often I lash out at myself such as hitting things, hitting myself or scratching. But am I just bein overdramatic about it? Does everyone feel like this?
Yes, Becca, you definitely have misophonia, and repetitive sounds is a pretty common trigger. It is hard to keep still and not lash out at people when they’re triggering you. One of my friends is the sweetest person on earth, but she triggered me one time during class and I just yelled at her. I felt so bad about it, and I wish it didn’t have to be her. I also bite and scratch myself. One time I didn’t think about it and slapped myself hard in the face. I was sitting in church one day and by the end of mass there were tears streaming down my face and deep fingernail marks all over my hands. I won’t get into detail about some of the violent things I think about when I’m triggered, but I recently started imagining the Death Star exploding, so that’s not as bad as hurting a person. Hang in there.