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Hannah

I am 16 years old and have been suffering from Misophonia since I was almost 14. My biggest triggers are eating, nose sniffling, and sticky sounds of any kind. My mom has a constantly runny nose and walks around all the time with a Kleenex that is a visual trigger for me. Ive asked her to stop but she just mocks me or says that my “fake disease” isn’t as important as her needing to blow her nose.Also my dog has a skin problem and he is CONSTANTLY biting/licking/chewing himself. I love him but my mom says that I hate him and someday when I get “mad” I will end up killing him. Not to say that has not crossed my mind; when I’m panicked sometimes I just feel the need to wring the neck of the person/animal that is triggering me or my own neck. I gave myself a horrible bruise on my face once because I grabbed a chunk of my cheek and SQUEEZED for everything I was worth rather than do something worse. I am homeschooled because of my ADHD but being in close proximity to my mom all day every day is more than I can take. She is emotionally abusive about other things too but the way she treats me with regards to my Misophonia is downright horrible. She told me I had to deal with it or no one would want to be my friend, not that anyone wants to be your friend anyway. She asks me if she’s bothering me and then gets all hurt and does a little fake cry and says she can’t do anything to please me. When I try to explain what it’s like she says you tell me this all the time I know it hurts you you feel upset blah blah blah just DEAL WITH IT. I’m not depressed but during my miso attacks and right after them I want to end my life. I’m singlehandedly tearing my family apart and my mom is right, I don’t have many friends. My best friend/ boyfriend is interested in neurology and stuff and he’s the only one that is kind to me anyway. Everyone else looks at me like I’m some kind of freak or does things purposely to make it worse.